So you have seen those adorable Sausage Dogs invading our TV screens recently – seems everywhere you look you see these funny little chaps trotting about. Don’t be deceived into believing that these cute little Sausages are going to be an easy addition to family life. By their very nature dachshunds are stubborn and tenacious, incredibly loyal and loving, but they know their own mind. Training them is, in my experience, very much on their own terms! In all honesty you don’t own a dachshund, a dachshund owns you…

10 Rules for Dachshund Owners – as Written by a Human Owned by a DachshundFlick 1

  1. Where ever you sit – I sit! I don’t care that there is an entire sofa, I want to sit where you are. I will wriggle my way in until I push you out. I then reserve the right to be offended when you move.
  2. I am dog – hear me bark! At EVERYTHING! You may not be able to see it – but there is danger everywhere. I am protecting you with my magnificent voice; despite being the only dog who barks whilst running backwards.
  3. No I will not go out in the rain! Would you wanna pee in this downpour? I’ll hold it I promise…. PS sorry about that new bath mat, I was caught short…
  4. I don’t travel well, you know this. So next time you go anywhere l will stay home with the dog sitter and look after the couch for you. Don’t worry I promise to behave and not try to drink the nice ladies tea every time she puts it down…
  5. It is my walk – if I choose not to go that is my prerogative. I will under no circumstances walk if there is a slight drizzle (step away from that ridiculous dog coat). Please don’t embarrass yourself by dragging me down the street…
  6. I abide by the 3 millisecond rule – if it hit the floor, its mine. End of. I also reserve the right to hang out under the high chair during weaning.
  7. You will go up to bed before 11pm  – or I will take myself to bed and refuse any attempt to make me go down the garden. But don’t think you can skip on the bedtime biscuit…
  8. I get up when I want, never before 7am. Don’t bother trying to offer me breakfast before 8am, I have a sensitive digestive system.
  9. Never pass wind in my presence, I may enjoy a fresh turd but your gas offends me. I will treat you to a look of absolute loathing before stomping away.
  10. All visitors will only be admitted by my express consent. If you do admit anyone without consulting me I will wee on their shoes. This is non-negotiable.Dachshund Sleeping

Enjoyed this post about out crazy Sausage Dogs? Don’t forget to check out our other posts under Sausage Shenanigans!

This Mum's Life

17 thoughts on “10 Rules for Dachshund Owners”

  1. Aww I love sausage dogs, even after all this I would still get one. I just think they are so cute.x #triballove

  2. This is so cute! I don’t have any dogs now but grew up with several in my parent’s house. And your list is so true. Especially about them wanting to sit wherever you are. Now that I think of it my cat was always the same way. Made it very hard to work on the computer. Thanks for sharing! #TribalLove

  3. I love this! Strangely it very much reminds me of my little girl, as she feels very put out when we have visitors haha. I chuckled along to not having to go for the walk if they don’t want to…gorgeous dogs, I want one πŸ™‚ #triballove

  4. As mom to a chocolate dapple smooth (short-haired), I can attest to truth of these rules. Every one of these could have been written by my dachshund, Trinket.

  5. There’s quite a few Dachshunds in my little town. They’re so adorable and have taken a liking to my Danish-Swedish Farmdog. Your doggies are lovely. #TribalLove

  6. I wish my pet refused to wake up before 7am! I have a cat who thinks 5:30 is an acceptable wake-up time, and he goes around the bedroom stepping on my face and knocking things over. Even the baby isn’t up that early! #bigpinklink

  7. Oh being a fellow daschund owner I can agree with so many of these – aren’t they one of a kind? So stubborn. And they have to sit on your lap at all times and main if I remotely move an inch! Such a fab post to read #BigPinkLink

  8. Hehe, this is brilliant!! I’ve never owned a dog, and these do sound particularly headstrong!! Does the dog really pee on unwanted visitors shoes??!! So cute though-looks are deceiving!! It’s nice that the dog at least would give you a lay in, even if the children don’t!! It does sound slightly like having an extra toddler in the house… But a gorgeous and super loved member of the family I’m sure!!

  9. We just recently adopted a rescue dog – his mom was a Pekinese Pug and His Dad was a Miniature Dachsund! You have described him to a tee! We love him dearly and he has stolen our hearts and rules our roost, for certain! What a joy! #bigpinklink

  10. Brilliant. Except in our case I would amend No.8 to:
    I get up when I want, That’s 5am if I need to pee, then 6am if my tummy is rumbling. If you feed me a nice breakfast, I will come back to bed for cuddles so you can get a bit more sleep.

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