So despite the current fall out from Brexit, Friday was in fact National Take Your Dog To Work Day. Hooray I hear dog lovers up and down the country cry. I can bring my furry four-legged friend to the office!
Alas for me this is not an option, not only because I am a nurse (Sausages do not fit into the current infection control policy. Especially as my Sausage is a notorious poo eater!) But because taking these two anti-social weiners any where would be foolish. It’s not that they don’t like people. I mean they are anti-social in the fact that they should really be wearing a tracking tag!
Top Anti-Social Dachshund Behaviours
1: Unwanted Advances: Endless Licking
Yes the occasional well-timed lick can be quite sweet. But full on facial washing, including the back of your throat? Is at best unpleasant. If it follows after a bit of poo eating, it is downright disgusting!
2: Petty Theft:
Picture the scene. You leave your seat for 2 minutes, probably to get a biscuit! There is half a mug of tea, just right for drinking by your side. You arrive back – no tea! There is no culprit to be seen, except out of the corner of your eye you see a black tail whip round the sofa…
(Please note that any remaining tea is now not drinkable. Remember the poo-eating?!)
3: Excessive Noise:
You don’t know it but the world is a dangerous place. But after an hour with two Sausages your nerves will be shot. Every time someone moves they will bark, a car pulls up. Bark. Postman. Bark. Spider. Bark. Bird sings six streets away. Bark. Got the picture?
4. Public Urination:
Although house trained, accidents with Dachshunds are nearly as frequent as with toddlers. Particularly when meeting new people. Its not a great way to make friends. Especially in the summer with open toed sandals…
5: Pick Pocketing:
Leaving your handbag unattended is never recommended. But you would think placing it at the floor by your feet would make it quite safe. Wrong. These two make Fagan look like an amateur. They will have their nose in your bag quick as a flash. Before you know it the entire contents will be strewn through the house. All in search of the tiniest morsel of food.
So you see their crimes are many and varied! Probably the best idea is to assume that they are up to know good at all. Remember silence with dachshunds is suspicious, very suspicious!