House of the Damned: Send More Biscuits

Ah it’s been a long week at Pudding HQ. The current quarantine conditions on Pie post-tonsils are taking there toll. He is not allowed out to mix with other germ infested kids for over a week. In all honesty he hasn’t been feeling well enough anyway. He has moments of forgetting he is ‘under the weather’ He will dash about with his light sabre. Then crash unceremoniously onto my shoulder. Snotting and sliming (yes slime!) everywhere.

To make matters worse Pud’s and I both have colds. This makes for two miserable tired girls. And even more snot… Pudding is still teething. She looks like one of those drooly dogs. You know the ones where they always seem to have it hanging out there mouth. There are seriously a lot of unpleasant fluids at HQ.

Of course Mr Pud is on nights. This compounds the sh*ttyness of the situation. On top of slime, snot and sobbing, I am creeping round the house. Keeping as quiet as possible. Trying to get two children to sleep on sofas. Luckily it’s only the one night so it’s only two days of whispering to endure.

Am sure some of you more yummy mummy’s out there would be embracing having to stay home. Let’s make a cake you would say. Or get the craft box out. Perhaps a spot of afternoon painting… Yeh well bully for you. I don’t bake (that should say can’t bake). I am not about to set up the painting so that my highly volatile 4 year old can lose his sh*t and paint the dog. I hate being trapped in the house.

Obviously I did what most normal parents do. I brought a large packet of digestive biscuits and went to town on Sky Movies. So there we sat. Two days on the couch. I don’t think we even bothered to get dressed. Pie and Pudding didn’t. Pie let off the air raid siren every few hours. I quickly shoved in some pain relief. We went back to our stupor!

When Mr Pud surfaced from his nights I was a Star Wars master, Harry Potter expert and Disney connoisseur. I was also at the end of my third packet of digestive biscuits (thank god for pyjamas). Surrounded by snotty tissues, empty sippy cups and sleeping dogs/children. We must have been a sight!

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