I know it’s a cliché moment in the Mamma Mia film as she sings to her daughter whilst she dresses her for the wedding. (If you haven’t seen the film you must, its one of my guilty pleasures) That moment always brings a tear to my eye. No more than at the moment as I get prepared for Pie to go to school full-time. He is so ready. In fact I know he needs it. He needs the stimulation. But he is my little boy, my mate, and my constant shadow these past four years.12244654_10153674035914641_3340375204385123010_o

With the exception of work, everywhere I go, he goes. Don’t get me wrong there are days when I wish that wasn’t the case. But now the time is nearly here, I don’t want him to be gone all day every day. I shall miss his crazy conversations. His constant questions and even the daily battles about the toilet! Those rainy afternoons curled up watching a film, where he talks through the entire thing (much to my exasperation). When he begs for the craft box to come out and spends less than 10 minutes engaging in it and an hour cutting paper into tiny pieces for me to pick up. All those little things that I always wish away, I shall miss.

I love our lazy mornings together. Sat in bed drinking our hot drinks and dropping brioche crumbs on his Dad’s pillow. The morning showers ending in the inevitable chase around my bedroom attempting to dress him. I will miss his dry wit and those time he slips his hand into mine and whispers you are my best friend Mummy. He is my best friend. Always there with a cuddle when I need one, or something funny to say when things go wrong. My little super-star, looking out for me as much as I do for him.

For the first time he will have a whole life away from me. New friends and new experiences that I won’t be able to directly share with him. Of course it will be good for him. I know that, but my Mummy heart wants to scoop him up and hold him close. I want to be the one that knows his every mood or whimsical thought. Each night I spend a little longer with him, as time marches on into September.

Part of me is so excited for him and to see what he will be come in the next year. To watch him grow into his own person, to start to learn who he is and what he can do. I know he will love school and all the opportunities and excitement it offers. There are such wonderful things to come. But I can’t help but feel a sense of loss as I guide him out into the world, to take his first steps into independence.

Dear Bear and Beany
Diary of an imperfect mum

30 thoughts on “Slipping Through My Fingers All The Time; Off To School”

  1. You’ll still have all these special times, it’s just the start of a new exciting chapter. I remember my eldest being so excited to start school, only for me to as her each day what she’d done for her to never remember! #sharingthebloglove

  2. Aw, I relate to this as my little boy is about to start school too. And I love that song in Mamma Mia! – I loved it even before the movie came out. Even own the soundtrack… #sharingthebloglove

  3. This almost made me cry too. My little girl is not yet 2, but I know the time is going to fly and I can’t imagine her not being with me all the time and starting to gain her independence. It’s an exciting new step for him though and he has so much to look forward to and so many memories to create. I hope he settles in well. #ablogginggoodtime

  4. Such a beautiful post and one that I can completely relate to. My eldest is due to start school in a couple of weeks and I’m trying desperately to hold on to all the little daily moments, knowing just how much I’m going to miss them when she’s not with me all day. Hope all goes well when Pie starts school and I am sure he will love it – it’s just a big step for us mummies too! #ablogginggoodtime
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…Parenting Pep Talk #28 – Bridie By The SeaMy Profile

  5. What a beautiful and heartfelt post. I can completely understand the pull between being so proud and wanting to see them go off and try all those new experiences, and wanting to just wrap your arms around them and give them the biggest hug and not let them go anywhere! I hope you have a wonderful last couple of weeks of adventures before school starts, and I hope that all goes as smoothly as possible. Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove
    Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…#SharingtheBlogLove #9My Profile

  6. It’s so hard letting them go isn’t it? I remember when my oldest started school, as much as I loved having a bit of extra time to get stuff done I missed him terribly and hated that I couldn’t be a part of whatever it was he was learning and experiencing every day. As hard as it is initially it soon becomes the norm and you get past the sadness and take delight in his tales of the day. Good luck with that first day x

  7. I live in Spain and they start full time school here (9-5) in the year of their 3rd birthday so some children start at just 2. My daughter was 3 1/2 and it was horrible although I did have her younger sister to keep me busy!

  8. I’m actually crying reading this, my middle one has just started school and I’m back at work full time after maternity leave. I already feel like I’m missing so much of him. His wee talks and questions, his cuddles and all of the lovely little things he says to me! Hope your little one has a great time at school. #ablogginggoodtime

  9. Instantly my eyes welled up and in my head I started playing Mamma Mia and listening to Amanda Seyfried and Meryl Streep singing and Sophie asking Donna to give her away – love that film. Milestones with our children are so bittersweet and this post really pulled at my heartstrings…
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime #triballove

  10. Oh man, my little boy does the same thing with the crafts and paper! He doesn’t start until next September but I’m already feeling sad about it! #SharingtheBlogLove

  11. completely with you on this! my eldest starts school next week and i’m feeling really emotional about it, i’d like to hang on to her a little bit longer but she is so excited to go, hardest part of motherhood is giving them wings i always think, bring on half term when we can have them home with us for a whole week! #sharingthebloglove

  12. Heartfelt and beautiful! I feel the same sense of loss, my son starts in less than 2 weeks. I felt the same about nursery too so this time, it’s not so dramatic. I guess, as a mother I’ll have to go through many emotional periods like this. 🙂 #SharingtheBlogLove
    Marina Ilieva recently posted…Vegetarian Bulgur Wheat BallsMy Profile

  13. Oh your post has really tugged at my heartstrings! Bless you! I still have two years before my little one heads off to her first day of ‘proper school’ but thinking about it already makes my heart sink into my shoes. I feel for you and all the other mums going through it over the next few weeks. Thanks for sharing such a lovely post X #SharingtheBlogLove

  14. My little boy starts school in a week and I feel exactly the same as you. For the past almost 5 years he has been my constant companion and the thought of him having a whole other part of his life without me scares me so much. I want to wrap him up and keep him all to myself but I know that I can’t. He is more than ready for this step, it’s me that’s doing all the worrying for us both. xx#SharingtheBlogLove

  15. Argh there’s something in my eye!!
    I totally get this. My little man is 4 in December and as hard as it was filling out the registration forms for his school placement next year, it won’t come close to how I will be feeling in twelve months time! After reading this I really will cherish the next year because I know this time next year I will be a complete wreck.
    I hope it goes well and he enjoys it. And of course for you too. Do something for yourself to pass the time. X #sharingthebloglove
    Jaki recently posted…Are you a talker or a texter…?My Profile

  16. I felt exactly the same this time last year. My daughter left nursery early as it just wasn’t stimulating her enough – they were still napping and she hadn’t napped for years so she was just getting bored there and she needed school, she needed the structure more than anything but I missed her so much. She goes into year one on Tuesday and I just can not believe how fast this first year of school has gone! She’s had so much fun though and absolutely loves school and I have enjoyed the routine of it and put more into my blog which I’ve enjoyed. Plus the afternoons after school are filled with new friends to play with in the park, swimming lessons and coffee dates! #sharingthebloglove
    Kat recently posted…Introducing Content Options: An Easy New Way to Make Visual Changes to Your SiteMy Profile

  17. This is a tough one. Remember, milestones are always better than kidney stones. Your little man and you will make it, and all for the better. Be grateful for the wonderful times you’ve had making memories and the new times you will share as he shares new and exciting things with you, his best friend. M’wah! <3 <3 #ablogginggoodtime
    Lisa Pomerantz recently posted…Fibromyalgia is a Four Letter WordMy Profile

  18. Really lovely post. My little rocket man is only 14 months and I’m with him 24/7. I’m so looking forward to when he becomes my little friend and all the fun times we’ll have. Even now, the thought of him having a life away from me makes me feel very wobbly. Obviously I’m here to see him grow, but it’s so bitter sweet isn’t it? X #SharingtheBlogLove

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