My lovely other half Mr Pud is a pretty damn good Dad, he can survive 13 hours with the kids whilst I work, even managing to keep up with the washing, shopping and making me dinner. What a good egg I hear you cheer! Well yes you are right he is 😊 However, this intelligent, sexy super Dad (he paid me to say that) has a major failing… His ability to buy an inappropriate gift is PHENOMENAL! He always buys presents with the best intentions, wanting to give the kids the things they want – it’s a shame that he doesn’t use his noggin when deciding to buy them! Age appropriate means very little to Mr Pud and this usually ends in potentially dangerous weapons being wielded in the house and me having to make up ridiculous rules like ‘no light sabers in Mummy’s bedroom’ and ‘you do not poke your sister with a wand’ – who knows what our neighbours must think as I scream these ridiculous rules out at various points during the day!

Dad present - Harry Potter Wand
The worlds most dangerous Dad present ever!

I have to say the winning inappropriate present does have to be the replica Harry Potter wand – it even said on the box this is not a toy! But Pie can’t read and Mr Pud doesn’t care, I knew this bloody wand would be a mistake!! It’s around 9 inches long, made of porcelain and has a metal rod running through it (I know this because bits of the porcelain have fallen off) does this sound like the sort of thing you would want to arm a 3 year old with?!?! Pie LOVES this wand, it has to go everywhere, to begin with he even slept with it! Watching Harry Potter on TV now requires him to jump off the sofa pointing said wand and shouting out various spells. If I have to sit and watch it too I have to add more wand rules in ‘don’t point that wand in my face’, ‘take that wand out of your nose’, ‘do not pick your sisters nose with the wand’ and on and on. I HATE that wand, and would gladly throw it in the bin or stick it up Mr Pud’s nose…

Bed filled with wands, light sabers and books
How does he sleep in this bed filled with dangerous items?!

Inappropriate gift number 2 is the ginormous light saber purchased while I was at work a few weeks ago! A friend of mine had brought him a play light saber and Pie had unfortunately broken it attacking the sofa (this should give you some idea as to why I hadn’t rushed out to replace it!) However; Dad in his infinite wisdom, went and brought not only a replacement but an upgraded, supercharged replacement. I tell you this thing is bloody huge! It makes crazy noises and has a mini light sabre that comes off the end (this tells you how huge this thing is). It really is more of a weapon than a toy – I have had to ban it in my bedroom in the mornings! Pudding just looks on in horror as this enormous, noisy red piece of plastic swoops past only millimetres from her nose…

The worlds largest and most dangerous light saber
The worlds largest and most dangerous light saber

There have been other gifts over the years, but these two are the current ones destroying my house, my patience and my sanity! Pie once hooked on to something is like a dog with a bone, it’s Harry Potter and Star Wars from morning until night at Pudding HQ. If it doesn’t involve a sword or a wand then apparently it’s just not fun… Even crafts aren’t safe as pencils, pens, glue etc can all be weaponised! I blame Mr Pud and his inappropriate, only a Dad would buy, gifts…

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
Rhyming with Wine

27 thoughts on “Gifts: That only a DAD would buy!”

  1. Haha, at least the toys get some use though so it’s not a total waste of money aha. That’s a very small silver lining to the little dark storm cloud. (: And… where did he get the wand? Asking for a friend… #triballove

    1. Yes like you say every cloud… Still in a way I kinda wish he didn’t love that wand so much… he tried to take it to preschool the other day, they don’t allow weapons… x

    1. Poor Mr Pud he tries so hard and he is very trying…. that wand is a menace to society. It is not coming on holiday with us, I am putting my foot down with a firm hand! x

  2. Mr. Pud is soooo like my hubs! My newborn daughter got squirt guns from the hubs as her first gift! Yeah that was the perfect first gift! I told him that was not the appropriate first gift so he got her a small cuddly with a bouncing ball bigger than my head….the hubs kills me! Atleast there were no knives..#triballove

  3. I love that he bought a porcelain wand for a three year old. Haha! Seems like your boy is very happy with them though! #triballove #kcacols

  4. Haha, mine is really into Harry Potter at the moment but there’s no way I’ll be getting him a wand – the light sabre is bad enough!!! #KCACOLS #tribe

  5. Hehe. So sweet that Mr. Pud buys cute presents with the best of intentions! Infuriating for poor Mumm! 🙂 #KCACOLS

  6. Haha this is brilliant! We’re quite lucky in that The Hubby isn’t really one for buying toys (yet – until they’re old enough to start on the really cool stuff and then it’ll be a different story I’m sure!) Although he bought me the most amazing gift for my first mother’s day as an actual mum, with a tiny baby and everything. I was thinking perhaps a piece of classic jewellery that I would be able to treasure forever, or maybe flowers, or chocolate even. Nope. I got a stuffed dog that barks and wags its tale. Eh? #neverliveditdown
    Thanks for linking up with #fartglitter x

  7. Oops, oh well, these dangerous ones look like the sort that need to be ‘lost’ very soon. I have lots of them, they even have to go into next doors bins as mine will actually look through ours if they think I’ve been up to no good!:)
    Mainy – myrealfairy

    1. I have tried to lose that wand 4 times – but he keeps finding it! I just don’t have the heart to throw it away because he loves it so much. I am getting better at ducking though… xx

    1. Ah no – poor chap I know how he feels! Although in my defence a porcelain wand for a 3 yr old is pretty dangerous right? x

  8. Not just dads. I once brought my seven year old nephew a pretend whip and an Indiana Jones hat. Did you know even pretend whips can hurt? I do. Now. Simultaneously the best and worst aunt ever that year. #kcacols

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