I would firstly like to state that I am not a WerePudding this recent nickname coined by my mother is both unfair and untrue. This is however, my revenge story. Remember how I told you that stealthy Sausage had eaten my Sophie Giraffe? Well the time is now right to get him back. Revenge they say is a dish best served cold. I am serving this colder and more unpleasant than rice pudding from the fridge. Yes Mother I am talking to you here. Cold rice pudding is disgusting and if you offer it to me again I will throw it at you.
Where was I? Oh yes revenge on that sly Sausage. Those dogs have been getting more brazen than ever of late. Clearly they are enjoying the weaning phase. (Mum calls them the clean up crew. But why she lets them lick my face clean…) Still I can sit up now and I finally have control over these hands. Giraffe stealing boy Sausage has taken to sitting next to me. I know he is after my new monkey. I shall defend that monkey to the death believe me. I can’t face another loss like Sophie.
So he sidles over the other day. It startles me slightly to find him so close. I swear he has stealth technology. Anyway it puts me off my game and I topple face first onto the couch next to him. I then realise how close his ears are. So I grab one. Oooh this is fun, tug, tug. Mother removes his ear from my hand. Ah ha I think, this could be good. I spend the next 10 minutes toppling forward and grabbing bits of him. Mum banishes him from the sofa! Excellent 1-0 Pudding.
I have now taken to torturing him at every opportunity. If Mum takes her eyes off me for a second I try to grab him. He is stupid though. He doesn’t learn. The other day I had actually managed to grab his tail and start chewing on the end before he moved. Mum has had to separate us. Both Sausages are now banned from being near me, for their own safety!