Why I am failing at Middle Class Motherhood…

Why I am failing at Middle Class Motherhood…

It’s a long standing joke in our house that I am a ‘terrible’ mother. To be honest I think the main problem is that Pie attends an outstanding school. This would be fine, apart from the fact I am not an outstanding parent. In fact if Ofsted rated me I would probably be inadequate in many areas. I am a rubbish cook – despite my best efforts. We don’t do crafts at home  and I cannot teach Pie to ride his bike as he only ever pedals backwards. My driving skills are fair but my in car singing could be considered harmful… I do apparently make good sandwiches and give great cuddles (thanks Pie).
The other problem is I fail to get involved in the middle-class motherhood game. I don’t do yoga, therefore I never turn up to the school in my yoga pants or with a fabulous post gym glow. Usually poor Pie is lucky to see me at all at the school gate. If by some miracle I am there at 3 I am either in my scruffy jeans, with no make up and the ‘thrown through a hedge backwards look’. Or I am in my uniform, looking slightly harassed because I meant to get off early to pick him up with plenty of time. But I am in fact late and running from the car feeling slightly harassed and rather hot.
Of course the other Mum’s all ask there little darlings how they got on at school. Pie always races out and announces that his pants are wet and can he watch Avengers when he gets home. This compounds the belief of the other parents that I am in fact a terrible mother in two ways. Firstly I am unable to potty train my 5 year old and secondly I allow him to watch TV. I just grin and unfold the plastic bag from my pocket for him to sit on in the car (it’s on hire purchase don’t judge my need for seat protection). I challenge anyone to toilet train this child – in fact I would pay you!
Worst of all are school projects, you know the ones where that damn bear come home for the weekend and you have to keep a journal. I can hardly write that The Bear watched me tackle washing pile mountain, wrestle Pudding into clothes and fail to cook a meal without cremating some part of it. I am pretty sure that the other entries in the book are utter bull. The person who gets The Bear after us must be like ‘winner, anything I write is gonna be better than that…’

So no I don’t do yoga, I don’t have a gym membership and no my child has not mastered the toilet yet. I can’t attend the PTA, charity fun run or help out at the bake sale. I barely manage to keep up with the reading record, let alone complete the ‘optional’ (it’s not optional AT ALL) homework. I can’t stand the obligatory costume days, Easter bonnets or other such parenting requirements. I have tried to be as pulled together and perfect as the other parents at the school gate but the reality is I can’t manage it. I am just another frazzled looking mama who loves her kids but is never gonna win parent of the year. And you know what I can live with that. Motherhood is not a competition. It’s an ongoing battle, that you occasionally win but inevitably more often than not lose! 

9 thoughts on “Why I am failing at Middle Class Motherhood…”

  • I am sure that you are being hard on yourself saying that you are an inadequate mother, I was awarded an outstanding grade from Ofsted, when I was a child minder, but I know I wouldn’t have got the same for being a mother, I did my best of course but I don’t think that the perfect parents exist

  • Seriously? Don’t beat yourself up. Just because those other moms looked pulled together doesn’t mean they are. I can’t even pick my kids up at school – they stay for an after-school program and then sometimes they “cry” because they don’t want to go home. That always makes me feel great…
    Everyone’s reality is different – you do you and don’t worry about anyone else. Your kiddo knows you love him and are doing your best. He doesn’t get that you’re not the same as any other moms. You’re his mom – that’s it.
    Keeo your chin up – you’re doing a great job!

  • Im right there with you. A total hot mess all of the time, dragging the whiney twins around in my yoga pants…even though I never EVER actually go to yoga. I am usually hollering at one of the many little tyrant humans I have created and counting the minutes down until it is somewhat acceptable for my to microwave some chicken nuggets and have a cocktail.

  • You are writing the story of most moms, most regular everyday loving moms who don’t pretend and are just happy being who they are. I am one of these moms although I do love yoga pants..not because I do yoga but because my jeans cut through my postpartum belly hang and yoga pants are just kinder. You’re doing alright, mama and don’t let anybody tell you any different. #eatsleepblogRT

  • Yep I totally relate to all this. Schools are constantly asking you to do stuff but you can’t do it all. I just pat myself on the back that his uniform is clean (but perhaps slightly faded or stained and definitely a ironed). My kids have so much screen time too, but you know what, they’re fine! You’re doing great x

  • #eatsleepblogrt Hun, chill and love
    Yourself – Pie is your biggest fan and I’m sure you raised him to have high standards 🙂 keep the cuddles flowing and the seat mat down on the hire car

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